Wow, we have certainly been busy and there is so much to tell. First off let me get the stinky news out of the way. Jeff and I are both still without jobs and my unemployment checks have been delayed due to red tape. I will get them, but not until after the first of the year. I got a call from the recruiter Friday telling me that he had talked to the owner of the store I had the interview for before Christmas and the guy said he was going to hire me. It's been over a week though and he has not called, so I really don't know what to think at this point.
Jeff got through his last few days at Sparky's. I was pretty disappointed in the owner of Wildfire and Sparky's (Bill). After six years of working with Jeff he didn't even bother to say thanks or goodbye.I went and hung out there a good part of the past couple of days. One of the cool things that happened was that I ran into Pokey, the woman who's party I worked a few weeks ago and she booked me for her Valentines party and I get to do the cooking this time:). I'm really looking forward to that.
Christmas Eve we went to Jeff's brother's house and had a nice time and then on Christmas Day we cleaned the house like crazy and then went to Jeff's Dad's. My parent's got here on Christmas Day and we enjoyed a nice evening together.
The day after Christmas all the kids arrived home around noon (yay!!!!). My sister and her family headed our way from Arlington encountering several bad accidents along the way which made for a long day for them. Jeff and I worked making a big family dinner and our neighbors Tony and Michelle also joined us. After dinner we opened gifts.
Audrey had been asking for a phone for Christmas. It was all she wanted. I told her weeks ago that she needed to have a "B" in all of her classes in order to get this present. I was trying to give her some big incentive. She didn't quite make it, but had signifigantly improved her grades, so I decided to go ahead and let her have the phone. She did not think she was getting the phone, so I wrapped it up in the neighbor's Guitar Hero World Tour Box. Ha,ha,ha, she opened it and was obviously surprised, but did a good job hiding her disappointment. A further search in the box found a phone and she was thrilled:).
We had a wonderful time with family and friends over the next couple of days, but we got one surprise that was just the coolest thing! I went out to check the mail after not checking it for several days. There were the usual Christmas cards from our family and friends. All had return addresses on them except one. I opened it up to find a sweet Christmas card with a very nice message of support for Jeff and I. Also inside the card were two $100 visa gift cards. Signed Secret Santa. I was completely blown away. I promise that when I am able, I will pay it forward. Secret Santa, whoever you are, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Christmas Story
I hope my friend Todd doesn't mind, but I am re-posting here on my blog, his most recent blog entry. I thought it was really special.
"Christmas Spirit
Friday night I was out delivering pizzas, lost in the dark and looking for some semblance of address numbers on the houses as I passed. At the end of the street was a home brilliantly lit for the Christmas season. Santa Claus stood in his sleigh on the grassy front lawn, surrounded by blow up snowmen, snow-globes and a barrage of other holiday lawn decor. This was the house. As I opened the car door and grabbed 2 steamy pizzas and a box of greasy hot-wings, Mannheim Steamroller wafted gently from hidden speakers. As I rang the doorbell, Jingle Bells started playing in tinny door-chime fashion as I waited on the front stoop. The dull glow of thousands of blue-tinted LED Christmas lights illuminated the receipt for $31.95. My wife and I usually decorate our house with Christmas lights, but a fire last August destroyed all of our exterior lights. Being on a tight budget, we decided to buy a tree this year and forgo exterior decor until Christmas 2009. We had heard about the new LED Christmas lights, so I asked the homeowner how he liked them. We chatted for a bit as he paid for his pizza, and I mentioned that our Christmas lights were destroyed last year. At this his eyes brightened and he said, "I have just the tip for you." He walked me out to the front of his garage where 5 large rubbermaid tubs sat, filled with Christmas lights. A lump rose in my throat as he started hauling them out to my car. They were filled to the brim with lights of all shapes and sizes. As we loaded them into the car, he asked only that I promise to put them up and wish my neighbors a merry Christmas. I was blown away. To him, they may have just been some extra lights that he wasn't using this year. To me they were a very generous gift of Christmas Spirit."
"Christmas Spirit
Friday night I was out delivering pizzas, lost in the dark and looking for some semblance of address numbers on the houses as I passed. At the end of the street was a home brilliantly lit for the Christmas season. Santa Claus stood in his sleigh on the grassy front lawn, surrounded by blow up snowmen, snow-globes and a barrage of other holiday lawn decor. This was the house. As I opened the car door and grabbed 2 steamy pizzas and a box of greasy hot-wings, Mannheim Steamroller wafted gently from hidden speakers. As I rang the doorbell, Jingle Bells started playing in tinny door-chime fashion as I waited on the front stoop. The dull glow of thousands of blue-tinted LED Christmas lights illuminated the receipt for $31.95. My wife and I usually decorate our house with Christmas lights, but a fire last August destroyed all of our exterior lights. Being on a tight budget, we decided to buy a tree this year and forgo exterior decor until Christmas 2009. We had heard about the new LED Christmas lights, so I asked the homeowner how he liked them. We chatted for a bit as he paid for his pizza, and I mentioned that our Christmas lights were destroyed last year. At this his eyes brightened and he said, "I have just the tip for you." He walked me out to the front of his garage where 5 large rubbermaid tubs sat, filled with Christmas lights. A lump rose in my throat as he started hauling them out to my car. They were filled to the brim with lights of all shapes and sizes. As we loaded them into the car, he asked only that I promise to put them up and wish my neighbors a merry Christmas. I was blown away. To him, they may have just been some extra lights that he wasn't using this year. To me they were a very generous gift of Christmas Spirit."
"The waiting...it's the hardest part"
Anytime you interview for a job and have to wait to hear from them it's hard. I feel like I nailed the interview, so whatever happens, I did my best. The recruiter called me yesterday to find out if I had heard anything and how the interview went after he left. I told him it went well and he was adamant that they should hire me...lol. I like it that he is fighting for me:). I am sure too, that since yesterday was a Sunday, they didn't want to call my references on the weekend. I am hoping I will hear something today. Jeff has an interview with Rudy's today, so send your good thoughts this way! They have a very strict 45 hour work week, and wow, that would be just awesome for him.
Speaking of waiting....I still have not recieved my first unemployment check. I am supposed to call in every two weeks, which I did, two weeks ago tomorrow, and nothing. It is near impossible to reach someone at the unemployment claims department. I have been waiting to get a return call for a week now. They called once and I missed the call, so then I had to start the process of reaching them all over again. I feel badly for these people because with unemployment being so high, I know they are overworked. But when you have $50 in your bank account and are really counting on that unemployment check...well...it's scary.
On a lighter note, we are dogsitting for one of Audrey's teachers that lives in our neighborhood. Kisses is a very sweet little lhasa apsa (I have no idea if I spelled that right...I could look it up...but nah). My bonus daughter Natalee LOVES animals and really wanted to bring Kisses home to hang with us at our house. Well, we brought Kisses home and it threw the rest of the animals into freak out mode. I don't think Kisses had ever seen a cat before and neither of my cats took kindly to haveing a little hyper dog running around. My sweet old dog Buddy just looked at us like "really?". Kisses spent the night and did pretty well, but the cats were still freaking this morning, so I thought it best to take Kisses home for some relief. Buddy doesn't seem to be fe feeling very well anyway and woudln't eat tis morning. I wonder if he thought this dog was here to stay. Poor guy.
Anyway, no news as of yet, but when I know something I will pass it along:)
I just had to add a really funny story or quote from my neighbor's son Justin. I was reading my friend Marsha's blog and she always tells these funny stories about her son and it made me think of Saturday night with Justin. Tony and Michelle (my awesome neighbors) had a Christmas party to go to, so I offered to watch Justin. Justin is five and in kindergarten and says hilarious things all the time as kindergartners do. I took him out to dinner and he told me he had to go to the bathroom. He was back really quickly and I said, "wow, that was fast!". He said, "Yeah, I'm a fast pee-er". Hilarious!
Speaking of waiting....I still have not recieved my first unemployment check. I am supposed to call in every two weeks, which I did, two weeks ago tomorrow, and nothing. It is near impossible to reach someone at the unemployment claims department. I have been waiting to get a return call for a week now. They called once and I missed the call, so then I had to start the process of reaching them all over again. I feel badly for these people because with unemployment being so high, I know they are overworked. But when you have $50 in your bank account and are really counting on that unemployment check...well...it's scary.
On a lighter note, we are dogsitting for one of Audrey's teachers that lives in our neighborhood. Kisses is a very sweet little lhasa apsa (I have no idea if I spelled that right...I could look it up...but nah). My bonus daughter Natalee LOVES animals and really wanted to bring Kisses home to hang with us at our house. Well, we brought Kisses home and it threw the rest of the animals into freak out mode. I don't think Kisses had ever seen a cat before and neither of my cats took kindly to haveing a little hyper dog running around. My sweet old dog Buddy just looked at us like "really?". Kisses spent the night and did pretty well, but the cats were still freaking this morning, so I thought it best to take Kisses home for some relief. Buddy doesn't seem to be fe feeling very well anyway and woudln't eat tis morning. I wonder if he thought this dog was here to stay. Poor guy.
Anyway, no news as of yet, but when I know something I will pass it along:)
I just had to add a really funny story or quote from my neighbor's son Justin. I was reading my friend Marsha's blog and she always tells these funny stories about her son and it made me think of Saturday night with Justin. Tony and Michelle (my awesome neighbors) had a Christmas party to go to, so I offered to watch Justin. Justin is five and in kindergarten and says hilarious things all the time as kindergartners do. I took him out to dinner and he told me he had to go to the bathroom. He was back really quickly and I said, "wow, that was fast!". He said, "Yeah, I'm a fast pee-er". Hilarious!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Lot's of Stuff
The first thing on my mind tonight is dealing with a little bit of hurt. Ok, maybe it's alot of hurt. My divorce several years ago was difficult. Rich and I had been married for nearly 13 years, together for 15. I was close with all of his family, his sister and sister in law were my very best friends. The whole marriage was not bad, but due to some mental issues with my ex, the last few years were awful. I prayed, I begged, I pleaded with God to help me get through and it never happened. Maybe someday I will go into further detail on this. Maybe that is why I don't go to church anymore. To some degree I am still hurt by the fact that I feel God didn't save me, make it work out. That's the way it is supposed to be right? You are supposed to stay married to the first person you marry. Shouldn't God have made that work?
Looking back, of course even with the pain of it all, in so many ways I am better off now. My husband is amazing and I am so very thankful to have him and the relationship we have.
That doesn't change the fact that when I left my husband, I lost an entire family. These people I had loved and been close to for 15 years, just ditched me in the blink of an eye. I made the stupid mistake tonight of making myself vulnerable to it, and now I am so hurt. Audrey travelled with her grandparent's to visit some of those people. I called her and asked to speak to one of the "aunts" that I thought was cool thinking maybe after all this time she would talk to me and it would be fine. She talked to me, but then it was quite obvious she didn't want to be talking to me. It hurts. Gosh, it really does. All of those people were my family. Now they literally despise me. How can you be like that? Why can't I let it go?
Oherwise, things are going really well. I had an interview today for a job that, if they hire me, will be amazing. More details to come:). I'm sorry, right now....I just feel stupid for reaching out to someone I thought might still care. Let it go Erin, just let it go.
Looking back, of course even with the pain of it all, in so many ways I am better off now. My husband is amazing and I am so very thankful to have him and the relationship we have.
That doesn't change the fact that when I left my husband, I lost an entire family. These people I had loved and been close to for 15 years, just ditched me in the blink of an eye. I made the stupid mistake tonight of making myself vulnerable to it, and now I am so hurt. Audrey travelled with her grandparent's to visit some of those people. I called her and asked to speak to one of the "aunts" that I thought was cool thinking maybe after all this time she would talk to me and it would be fine. She talked to me, but then it was quite obvious she didn't want to be talking to me. It hurts. Gosh, it really does. All of those people were my family. Now they literally despise me. How can you be like that? Why can't I let it go?
Oherwise, things are going really well. I had an interview today for a job that, if they hire me, will be amazing. More details to come:). I'm sorry, right now....I just feel stupid for reaching out to someone I thought might still care. Let it go Erin, just let it go.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ah Ha Moment
Alright, so I've had the moment, the one I've been waiting for, the time when I finally realize what I want to do. Over the past few years whenever there has been a catering event for Sparky's big or small, Jeff will always ask me if want to work the event. I've done huge weddings and small get togethers. Every single one was a blast! Earlier this week Jeff got a call from a woman in Sun City who was haivng a Christmas Party and wondered if Jeff knew of anyone who could come and help her during the party and of course he called me.
I showed up about an hour early last night and Pokey (yep, that's what they call her, never did find out why) was in panic mode with all the last minute stuff. I just jumped right in and helped her finish the appetizers and get everything plated up and garnished etc. As people began to arrive I took them drinks, talked to them, made sure the platters stayed full of appetizers and washed a few dishes here and there. This allowed Pokey to really enjoy her party which she very much appreciated. I cannot tell you how much fun it was! I can do this, and I can do so much more. The way I figure it though, this is how you start. Pokey is a realtor and she says she does these kinds of things all the time and will call me again. She even paid me way more than she originally agreed to ($100 for three hours of work that was FUN is awesome!).
If I can get my name out there and word of mouth spreads, then people will begin to ask me to do bigger things. I can be totally flexible. I can do the small home parties, and when the time comes, I hope to be doing big weddings! Doing these parties includes everything I am good at. It's like being on stage really. You smile, you talk to people and make sure they are having a great time. AND, when I am doing more catering, I will be cooking too which is another thing I love. It will have to be an on the side thing for a while, but yep, this is it.
Wow, I am excited.
Oh, and to top the evening off, Sam Bradford of OU won the Heisman Trophy! Go Sooners!
I showed up about an hour early last night and Pokey (yep, that's what they call her, never did find out why) was in panic mode with all the last minute stuff. I just jumped right in and helped her finish the appetizers and get everything plated up and garnished etc. As people began to arrive I took them drinks, talked to them, made sure the platters stayed full of appetizers and washed a few dishes here and there. This allowed Pokey to really enjoy her party which she very much appreciated. I cannot tell you how much fun it was! I can do this, and I can do so much more. The way I figure it though, this is how you start. Pokey is a realtor and she says she does these kinds of things all the time and will call me again. She even paid me way more than she originally agreed to ($100 for three hours of work that was FUN is awesome!).
If I can get my name out there and word of mouth spreads, then people will begin to ask me to do bigger things. I can be totally flexible. I can do the small home parties, and when the time comes, I hope to be doing big weddings! Doing these parties includes everything I am good at. It's like being on stage really. You smile, you talk to people and make sure they are having a great time. AND, when I am doing more catering, I will be cooking too which is another thing I love. It will have to be an on the side thing for a while, but yep, this is it.
Wow, I am excited.
Oh, and to top the evening off, Sam Bradford of OU won the Heisman Trophy! Go Sooners!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Working Through
Jeff came home last night and we talked for a very long time (and drank a few tequila shots...lol). As I suspected, he feels such a great sense of burden as do I. I have already sent out many resumes today for him, so we hope that something will come up soon.
Today we got another big blow when I called to find out what would happen to his childsupport payments if he lost his job. I was told that they would accrue and that his X can report him and take him to court over it if he can't pay. Jeff supports his kids willingly, he is not a deadbeat Dad who doesn't pay or want to pay his childsupport. I know his X counts on it, as I count on mine. I know the system is in place to protect the kids. BUT, when someone loses their job and has no way to pay, it just seems terribly unfair that he could go to jail or be taken to court over it. Especially in these down times. It's just another scary thing that looms ahead. And of course, he has to tell her about losing his job and I know that won't be fun.
Come on silver lining, where are ya???
Today we got another big blow when I called to find out what would happen to his childsupport payments if he lost his job. I was told that they would accrue and that his X can report him and take him to court over it if he can't pay. Jeff supports his kids willingly, he is not a deadbeat Dad who doesn't pay or want to pay his childsupport. I know his X counts on it, as I count on mine. I know the system is in place to protect the kids. BUT, when someone loses their job and has no way to pay, it just seems terribly unfair that he could go to jail or be taken to court over it. Especially in these down times. It's just another scary thing that looms ahead. And of course, he has to tell her about losing his job and I know that won't be fun.
Come on silver lining, where are ya???
Thursday, December 11, 2008
More Bad News
I got the call about two hours ago. Jeff, "We've got a problem"....they are selling the restaurant he works for and he won't have a job after Christmas. Just when I thought things were manageable, they go down the tubes even worse. I know he is feeling horrible. Jeff's sense of responsibility for taking care of me and the kids is bigger than any man I know. He works hard and it is important to him to be the provider. He is trying really hard to play this off and be the big brave man, but I know inside he is in pieces and worried to death. He is still at work, since
he has a job until Christmas, but I know that must be terribly hard for him. Having to stay there and keep a professional face on while he worries about providing for us. He has some leads on other jobs and was really ready to move on from this one, but circumstances being what they are....now was not a good time for this to happen.
All I can say is, please send your prayers, good thoughts and wishes our way. We need all the help we can get.
he has a job until Christmas, but I know that must be terribly hard for him. Having to stay there and keep a professional face on while he worries about providing for us. He has some leads on other jobs and was really ready to move on from this one, but circumstances being what they are....now was not a good time for this to happen.
All I can say is, please send your prayers, good thoughts and wishes our way. We need all the help we can get.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Moving Forward
Jeff and I had a long talk last night in which I demonstrated all the amazing ways that we are being taken care of through this trying time. I am a religious person....somewhat lapsed on the going to church thing, but still a big believer that God is out there taking care of me. Some might have different views and I'm totally cool with that. At any rate, some really neat things have happened and are blessings during this time.
At the beginning of November I was beginning to worry that my child support check was lost in the mail as it was a little later than usual (the Attorney General takes this out of Rich's check, so it was nothing he did). I got it and didn't open it until I was in the drive through at the bank since they are always the same amount. I opened it up and it was nearly twice what it usually is. I nearly cried. I went ahead and put it in the bank, but immediately called the office to make sure there hadn't been a mistake. I didn't want to find out months from now that I owed them money. Come to find out, in April of 2005 a check had somehow not been delivered to me, so they were giving me the money that was mine. Then for some reason in November of 2008, they realized this and decided to give me that money. Hmmmmm...nice timing!
Now this little windfall allowed me to get one check ahead on paying bills. So, the last check of the month goes towards the mortgage etc...This little blessing has allowed Jeff and I to be in better shape with the job loss and we were able to pay our mortgage in December. I am going to get some decent unemployment, so all in all, things are difficult, but not horrible. January will be much harder, but I hope to have a job by then.
The next money related blessing was my parents. I have to say that through every difficult time, my family has been the most amazing support in every way. My Dad called me last Tuesday and sensing my worry about Christmas, offered some help. He said that he and Mom were planning to give us money for Christmas and would it help if they sent it now. YES!:) We don't have the kids for Christmas this year, we get them at noon on the 26th. We don't have to do BIG Christmas, but we wanted to make sure the kids each got something special. Plus, there are lots of other family memebers to buy for besides our kids. Another blessing.
I think though that the biggest blessing was my job loss. How is that possible you ask? Well, the way I see it, we were seriously considering something that could have financially ruined us. In many ways, I know we could have done it, we could have been successful. I WANTED so badly to do it, but as I said in an earlier post, wanting something and it being the right thing, are two very different things. I became privy to some things (I have friends in high places..lol on the advisory board) that most Super Suppers owners are not even aware of about the future of the company. There are some things going on within corporate that I think will ultimately cause it's demise. I wish so much that it could have worked, but I feel very strongly that it all happend in order to keep Jeff and I safe from something that could have destroyed us.
That's what gives me peace through this. I gained alot of experience that I can use moving forward. I also really believe that Jeff and I are being prepped to do something more. I don't think it's an coincidence that twice in the last year we have had the opportunity to buy our own business. It is something we both want to do, so maybe someday, we will.
I still really despise the unknown here. I want to know what comes next. But, I'm also trying to enjoy the break. My job with Super Suppers was all consuming. I had great flexibility which allowed me to be home when my kids got home from school. But even then, I was working. I was physically here, but always on the phone or computer. Work was never far from my mind. It leaves a big hole, but it is also nice not to have to worry so much. I'm going to enjoy today.
At the beginning of November I was beginning to worry that my child support check was lost in the mail as it was a little later than usual (the Attorney General takes this out of Rich's check, so it was nothing he did). I got it and didn't open it until I was in the drive through at the bank since they are always the same amount. I opened it up and it was nearly twice what it usually is. I nearly cried. I went ahead and put it in the bank, but immediately called the office to make sure there hadn't been a mistake. I didn't want to find out months from now that I owed them money. Come to find out, in April of 2005 a check had somehow not been delivered to me, so they were giving me the money that was mine. Then for some reason in November of 2008, they realized this and decided to give me that money. Hmmmmm...nice timing!
Now this little windfall allowed me to get one check ahead on paying bills. So, the last check of the month goes towards the mortgage etc...This little blessing has allowed Jeff and I to be in better shape with the job loss and we were able to pay our mortgage in December. I am going to get some decent unemployment, so all in all, things are difficult, but not horrible. January will be much harder, but I hope to have a job by then.
The next money related blessing was my parents. I have to say that through every difficult time, my family has been the most amazing support in every way. My Dad called me last Tuesday and sensing my worry about Christmas, offered some help. He said that he and Mom were planning to give us money for Christmas and would it help if they sent it now. YES!:) We don't have the kids for Christmas this year, we get them at noon on the 26th. We don't have to do BIG Christmas, but we wanted to make sure the kids each got something special. Plus, there are lots of other family memebers to buy for besides our kids. Another blessing.
I think though that the biggest blessing was my job loss. How is that possible you ask? Well, the way I see it, we were seriously considering something that could have financially ruined us. In many ways, I know we could have done it, we could have been successful. I WANTED so badly to do it, but as I said in an earlier post, wanting something and it being the right thing, are two very different things. I became privy to some things (I have friends in high places..lol on the advisory board) that most Super Suppers owners are not even aware of about the future of the company. There are some things going on within corporate that I think will ultimately cause it's demise. I wish so much that it could have worked, but I feel very strongly that it all happend in order to keep Jeff and I safe from something that could have destroyed us.
That's what gives me peace through this. I gained alot of experience that I can use moving forward. I also really believe that Jeff and I are being prepped to do something more. I don't think it's an coincidence that twice in the last year we have had the opportunity to buy our own business. It is something we both want to do, so maybe someday, we will.
I still really despise the unknown here. I want to know what comes next. But, I'm also trying to enjoy the break. My job with Super Suppers was all consuming. I had great flexibility which allowed me to be home when my kids got home from school. But even then, I was working. I was physically here, but always on the phone or computer. Work was never far from my mind. It leaves a big hole, but it is also nice not to have to worry so much. I'm going to enjoy today.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Torn
I have started this entry so many times. I worry that I am being too negative. That people, well if anyone reads this, that they will just get irritated with me. Then I realize that this isn't for anyone else. This is for me. The whole reason I decided to write was because this is the best way for me to work through my feelings.
Right now I am angry...yes STILL. I feel so much like I am flailing in the wind. I have alot of different experience, but I really didn't think I would be starting all over again. I thought when I started the GM job at Super Suppers, this was my future. I saw myself doing that job or owning the store on a very permanent basis. I keep waiting for some sort of inspiration, something to happen that moves me toward what comes next. Instead, I am home, remembering what it's like to be a stay at home Mom, and remembering that I cannot possibly afford to be that.
I will digress for a moment. The weekend was absolutely wonderful. We have made friends with our neighbors and feel really blessed to have such wonderful friends. The holiday and the friends made me forget for a while. On Sunday, we went to a Christmas Tree Farm in Elgin and picked out our Christmas Tree. We had decided last year this was what we were going to do and since we had already told the kids, we went ahead. It was such a wonderful day! Here are some pics:). The tree was so big that we had part of it hanging out the passenger side front window and part hanging out the drivers side back window...got quite a few laughs on the way home:).
Right now I am angry...yes STILL. I feel so much like I am flailing in the wind. I have alot of different experience, but I really didn't think I would be starting all over again. I thought when I started the GM job at Super Suppers, this was my future. I saw myself doing that job or owning the store on a very permanent basis. I keep waiting for some sort of inspiration, something to happen that moves me toward what comes next. Instead, I am home, remembering what it's like to be a stay at home Mom, and remembering that I cannot possibly afford to be that.
I will digress for a moment. The weekend was absolutely wonderful. We have made friends with our neighbors and feel really blessed to have such wonderful friends. The holiday and the friends made me forget for a while. On Sunday, we went to a Christmas Tree Farm in Elgin and picked out our Christmas Tree. We had decided last year this was what we were going to do and since we had already told the kids, we went ahead. It was such a wonderful day! Here are some pics:). The tree was so big that we had part of it hanging out the passenger side front window and part hanging out the drivers side back window...got quite a few laughs on the way home:).
I had an idea that I could just send out an email to everyone I know and offer the same sort of services that Super Suppers does. I have the kow how and I know there are people out there who need help with their dinners. If people wanted to buy a dinner or two from me a week, then maybe that could help make December better, or more survivable for me and Jeff. I'm still working it through, but at least it's something. Until I find whatever it is that is next for me.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Last Paycheck
Just went and picked up my last paycheck and a few things I had at the store. I took the attitude this morning that I don't often have days off with my kids and a clean house, so I was doing a pretty decent job at enjoying it. I knew paychecks would come today and since I really NEED the thing, I went ahead and drove up there. Emotion began to hit on my way there and now, my shoulders are back to being tight and painful. I guess I was forced to again face the fact that my future is unclear. People keep giving me the cliche's, you know, "When a door closes a window opens" and the like. I know these to be true and I know that someday I will see all the good from this trying time. Right now I'm just mad, scared and upset. This store was really a part of my identity.
Four years ago, after being a stay at home Mom for nine years, I had to go back to work. I was going through a divorce and had to find my own way for the first time in 15 years. I got a job at another Super Suppers and quickly worked my way up to managing the store. I was proud of what I had accomplished. Then I got laid off. That was devastating for me. So, this isn't the first time this company has laid me off, same story, different store. Nearly a year ago, this store asked me to general manage. It took me three days to say yes, because I knew it would be a BIG job. But I did it, and despite many shortcomings along the way, I thought things were really coming together. I really felt I had made great strides. And now, it's gone. I'm not sure I can convey how this affects me. It's not just that I've lost my income. I've lost a big part of what I felt very personally attached to. I feel very lost. And yes, I know better things will come, but damnit, right now just let me be mad and hurt, it's okay!
I will say that despite everything, yesterday was one of the best Thanksgiving's on record. Maybe the very best. Jeff and I cooked side by side for hours, and I really think we worked like a well oiled machine. Everything was ready on time, we never felt stressed. I even ran into a neighbor at the store early in the day who was trying to throw together a last minute meal and invited them too. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, sharing and being thankful. I am thankful that I have wonderful family and friends. I was able to put all the stress and pain aside for a day at least.
Four years ago, after being a stay at home Mom for nine years, I had to go back to work. I was going through a divorce and had to find my own way for the first time in 15 years. I got a job at another Super Suppers and quickly worked my way up to managing the store. I was proud of what I had accomplished. Then I got laid off. That was devastating for me. So, this isn't the first time this company has laid me off, same story, different store. Nearly a year ago, this store asked me to general manage. It took me three days to say yes, because I knew it would be a BIG job. But I did it, and despite many shortcomings along the way, I thought things were really coming together. I really felt I had made great strides. And now, it's gone. I'm not sure I can convey how this affects me. It's not just that I've lost my income. I've lost a big part of what I felt very personally attached to. I feel very lost. And yes, I know better things will come, but damnit, right now just let me be mad and hurt, it's okay!
I will say that despite everything, yesterday was one of the best Thanksgiving's on record. Maybe the very best. Jeff and I cooked side by side for hours, and I really think we worked like a well oiled machine. Everything was ready on time, we never felt stressed. I even ran into a neighbor at the store early in the day who was trying to throw together a last minute meal and invited them too. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, sharing and being thankful. I am thankful that I have wonderful family and friends. I was able to put all the stress and pain aside for a day at least.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Still here
I'm a pretty lucky girl. I have an amazing husband who has done everything possible to support me through this time, even though I know it's got to be stressful for him too. Amazing kids, friends and family who have circled the wagons around me to support me. I need to remember all that through this.
Ohhh, but I am so tired, and when you get tired, you get emotional. I woke up at 2am this morning and despite my best efforts, I just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, I will sleep tonight, I'm not sure my body has a choice.
The thing I have to console myself with is that I have been through much worse things. When I went through my divorce and the years prior to that, I went through a hell that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. At that time I begged and pleaded with God to help me and I felt really abandoned. I look back at those times and I see the changes in my life for the better since then. There are some things that have continued to be hard, but for the most part I have become a much better, much wiser person for all the pain. And to top it off, I met the most amazing man. My husband Jeff is my rock. He treats me with love and respect at all times. I had no idea love could be like this.
Like I said, despite the pain, fear and loose ends, I am a very lucky girl.
Ohhh, but I am so tired, and when you get tired, you get emotional. I woke up at 2am this morning and despite my best efforts, I just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, I will sleep tonight, I'm not sure my body has a choice.
The thing I have to console myself with is that I have been through much worse things. When I went through my divorce and the years prior to that, I went through a hell that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. At that time I begged and pleaded with God to help me and I felt really abandoned. I look back at those times and I see the changes in my life for the better since then. There are some things that have continued to be hard, but for the most part I have become a much better, much wiser person for all the pain. And to top it off, I met the most amazing man. My husband Jeff is my rock. He treats me with love and respect at all times. I had no idea love could be like this.
Like I said, despite the pain, fear and loose ends, I am a very lucky girl.
Monday, November 24, 2008
News
First off, I would like to say how proud I am of my son who's team played awesome in their tournament this weekend. The got farther than they have ever gotten before and only lost in a tie breaker. Awesome!
That was the good news portion of this blog. Now on to the bad. We sent off our letter to Jennifer and Scott. They asked for a meeting. We met today at 1pm and they let me go. They said theat they had needed us to move faster on the sale and they just couln't afford to keep me. I am now sans job.
I have cried all day, I can't seem to get my self to move past that. I was proud of what I had accomplished at this job. I am smart enough to know that evrything happens for a reason and something better will eventually come along, but right now I am devastated and scared. My former bosses handled this whole thing very (for lack of a better word) shitty. They have even offered to pay me until the end of the month if I will be available to answer questions for the next week. I am not feeling terribly charitable. I know I should take the offer because we need the money, but damnit, screw them. I have worked my butt off for this store and I was proud of that. Now I worry we will lose the house if I don't find work soon. Not to mention Christmas for our kids.
I let all my employees know and they are shocked and upset as well. I don't know what else to say.....
That was the good news portion of this blog. Now on to the bad. We sent off our letter to Jennifer and Scott. They asked for a meeting. We met today at 1pm and they let me go. They said theat they had needed us to move faster on the sale and they just couln't afford to keep me. I am now sans job.
I have cried all day, I can't seem to get my self to move past that. I was proud of what I had accomplished at this job. I am smart enough to know that evrything happens for a reason and something better will eventually come along, but right now I am devastated and scared. My former bosses handled this whole thing very (for lack of a better word) shitty. They have even offered to pay me until the end of the month if I will be available to answer questions for the next week. I am not feeling terribly charitable. I know I should take the offer because we need the money, but damnit, screw them. I have worked my butt off for this store and I was proud of that. Now I worry we will lose the house if I don't find work soon. Not to mention Christmas for our kids.
I let all my employees know and they are shocked and upset as well. I don't know what else to say.....
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Drama, baseball & football
Man, what a day!
It's just Murphy's Law for me that any day that there are no children in the house and I could peacefully sleep in, I wake up at 8am. Now tomorrow, when I need to be AT a baseball game at 8am, I will feel like I could sleep all morning. Story of my life, and honestly, if that's all I have to complain about, I'm a lucky girl.
Today we sent out response email to the owners of the store. Basically we let them know that we would not be rushed and that we were willing to walk away. They want a face to face meeting to discuss things. Soooo, the saga continues. They play a good game, we still have no idea what their bottom line is. Jeff still feels we have the upper hand, and in many ways I do too. BUT, when your future is at stake, it's hard not to worry.
In the midst of this, Michael had his final baseball tournament of the season. My son Michael is a really amazing baseball player. I knew nothing about baseball until we got him into it and discovered he was good. Now I spend three nights a week at practice (except for the next six weeks, yay!). His team has been less than good, but to be fair, they are a very new team compared to some. Today though, they played awesome. They creamed the team in the first game and only lost by one in the second. It was fun to see the improvement they have made over the past month and I'm sure tomorrow will be fun too.
And oh, what a great cap to the evening, my Sooners beat the pants off of Texas Tech! I have always loved football, but I have an affinity for college ball. I think those college boys just play with more heart. No million dollar drug addicts here, just boys who rely on teamwork and working hard to reach their goal. Love it!
So, tomorrow brings more baseball and a meeting with the owners fo my store. Lot's of uncertainty. I'll try not to stress about it all (or I'll just drink alot of wine...it's 5 O'clock somehere right?). More details as they become available.....
It's just Murphy's Law for me that any day that there are no children in the house and I could peacefully sleep in, I wake up at 8am. Now tomorrow, when I need to be AT a baseball game at 8am, I will feel like I could sleep all morning. Story of my life, and honestly, if that's all I have to complain about, I'm a lucky girl.
Today we sent out response email to the owners of the store. Basically we let them know that we would not be rushed and that we were willing to walk away. They want a face to face meeting to discuss things. Soooo, the saga continues. They play a good game, we still have no idea what their bottom line is. Jeff still feels we have the upper hand, and in many ways I do too. BUT, when your future is at stake, it's hard not to worry.
In the midst of this, Michael had his final baseball tournament of the season. My son Michael is a really amazing baseball player. I knew nothing about baseball until we got him into it and discovered he was good. Now I spend three nights a week at practice (except for the next six weeks, yay!). His team has been less than good, but to be fair, they are a very new team compared to some. Today though, they played awesome. They creamed the team in the first game and only lost by one in the second. It was fun to see the improvement they have made over the past month and I'm sure tomorrow will be fun too.
And oh, what a great cap to the evening, my Sooners beat the pants off of Texas Tech! I have always loved football, but I have an affinity for college ball. I think those college boys just play with more heart. No million dollar drug addicts here, just boys who rely on teamwork and working hard to reach their goal. Love it!
So, tomorrow brings more baseball and a meeting with the owners fo my store. Lot's of uncertainty. I'll try not to stress about it all (or I'll just drink alot of wine...it's 5 O'clock somehere right?). More details as they become available.....
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Calmer Now
Monday was a rough day. I needed that day to process and talk through all the emotion I was feeling. The owners of the store had responded to our question of waiting until January 1st to change ownership by saying that if we didn't take ownership Dec. 1st, they would cut my salary in half. I was pretty darn upset by that. First of all, it was just wrong. And second of all...well, it was just wrong! Jeff is pretty sure it's illegal as well, but that is a quesiton for the attorney today.
Well, after processing all of that, and what the CPA said, we have come out with a much clearer picture on the whole situation. We are meeting with a corporate attorney today and will get some more clarity I'm sure. What it comes down to now is the owners willingness to cut their price. The business is not worth what they are asking us to pay. Not near what they are asking. I think they have rushed things along in order for us not to realize this, but too late. They certainly didn't want us to see a lawyer.
Anyway, I have come to terms with the fact that this may not work out. If it doesn't work out, and we did everything we could, then it just wasn't meant to be. I can live with that. I don't know what's next on the horizon for me, but time will tell.
More news later:)
Well, after processing all of that, and what the CPA said, we have come out with a much clearer picture on the whole situation. We are meeting with a corporate attorney today and will get some more clarity I'm sure. What it comes down to now is the owners willingness to cut their price. The business is not worth what they are asking us to pay. Not near what they are asking. I think they have rushed things along in order for us not to realize this, but too late. They certainly didn't want us to see a lawyer.
Anyway, I have come to terms with the fact that this may not work out. If it doesn't work out, and we did everything we could, then it just wasn't meant to be. I can live with that. I don't know what's next on the horizon for me, but time will tell.
More news later:)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Camping and BIG Decisions
I took lot's of camping pics, but need a new cord to connect my camera to my computer. Once that is done, I will post! Amazingly, even though it was colder on Saturday night, we all did fine. I think it was the fact that the wind had died down. We had a nice game of Monopoly going and really enjoyed ourselves.
So. Big decisions. Two weeks ago today I got to work and found an email from my boss aksing to meet with me at 3:15 that afternoon. I hate those email's. I worry myself to death over being called in by my bosses. Usually it's needless worry. This meeting was no exception. They were not meeting with me to fire me or tell me I am doing a horrible job, they were meeting with me to tell me that they want to sell me the store. They have had it up for sale for quite a while now, but with the economy the way it is, they have not had takers. The both work other jobs and are just ready to be rid of the burden the store presents in their lives both time wise and financially.
At first Jeff and I were just pretty much in shock mode. I was really in emotional mode. If we buy the store, it's a big risk (even though they have given us very nice terms). If we don't buy the store, I will lose my job, and soon. They will either sell to someone else who won't need a GM or they will close the store. Losing my job would be devastating for us. I've been through it before and even though everything worked out in the end, I REALLY despise the unknown. I feel like I am flailing in the wind at the moment.
I know we can do this, I've run the store for nearly a year now and Jeff has managed restaurants for 20 years. It is something we've both wanted, to own our own business. In many ways, this is a dream come true. Unfortunately, it's just not an easy decision. There are so many things that are involved in buying a business. Creating a corporation, deciding which kind of corporation you want to be, and many many more small details. Things I knew nothing about until the past two weeks. It's overwhelming.
In some ways I feel as though I have been training for this for a few years now, and I guess that is why the option of saying no is so upsetting. I WANT to do this, but wanting to do something and it being the right thing to do are two very different things. I was calm for a while, when I really felt we were going to buy the store (and basically I was avoiding thinking about the other possibilites). Today things have changed and the owners have pretty much given us a two week deadline. We either go for it, or I get a major pay cut December 1st (oh, and right before Christmas, yay!) and have to face looking for another job.
I think I need a big cry to clear my head. I'm trying not to do that sitting here at work since my employees know nothing about anything that's going on! Anyway, big decisions afoot.
So. Big decisions. Two weeks ago today I got to work and found an email from my boss aksing to meet with me at 3:15 that afternoon. I hate those email's. I worry myself to death over being called in by my bosses. Usually it's needless worry. This meeting was no exception. They were not meeting with me to fire me or tell me I am doing a horrible job, they were meeting with me to tell me that they want to sell me the store. They have had it up for sale for quite a while now, but with the economy the way it is, they have not had takers. The both work other jobs and are just ready to be rid of the burden the store presents in their lives both time wise and financially.
At first Jeff and I were just pretty much in shock mode. I was really in emotional mode. If we buy the store, it's a big risk (even though they have given us very nice terms). If we don't buy the store, I will lose my job, and soon. They will either sell to someone else who won't need a GM or they will close the store. Losing my job would be devastating for us. I've been through it before and even though everything worked out in the end, I REALLY despise the unknown. I feel like I am flailing in the wind at the moment.
I know we can do this, I've run the store for nearly a year now and Jeff has managed restaurants for 20 years. It is something we've both wanted, to own our own business. In many ways, this is a dream come true. Unfortunately, it's just not an easy decision. There are so many things that are involved in buying a business. Creating a corporation, deciding which kind of corporation you want to be, and many many more small details. Things I knew nothing about until the past two weeks. It's overwhelming.
In some ways I feel as though I have been training for this for a few years now, and I guess that is why the option of saying no is so upsetting. I WANT to do this, but wanting to do something and it being the right thing to do are two very different things. I was calm for a while, when I really felt we were going to buy the store (and basically I was avoiding thinking about the other possibilites). Today things have changed and the owners have pretty much given us a two week deadline. We either go for it, or I get a major pay cut December 1st (oh, and right before Christmas, yay!) and have to face looking for another job.
I think I need a big cry to clear my head. I'm trying not to do that sitting here at work since my employees know nothing about anything that's going on! Anyway, big decisions afoot.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
YES, we camped last night!
OK, so maybe we are crazy, but yes, we did camp last night. We love to camp. Of course, we love it better when there is beautiful weather. But no matter the weather, the kids have so much fun exploring and imagining out there in the woods. Lord knows they spend way too much time in front of the t.v. and games these days. I remember spending hours upon hours back in the woods behind my house growing up, letting my imagination run wild (and believe me, I've got quite an imagination!). So it's always so nice to watch them use what they see and find to create secret hideouts and such.
We knew it was going to be cold, at least I will say, Jeff and I knew it was going to be cold. I told the kids to pack themselves and warned them over and over that it was going to get very cold in the night. I guess when it is close to 85 outside, it's hard for a kid to believe that it is really going to get THAT cold. My son went to bed in his usual just underwear even though I warned him.
We have been getting these really cool campsites that have a small rudimentary cabin on them (pictures later). It is basically the shelter that you usually find at the campsite, but it has been enclosed. Inside are two bunkbeds. We put up a few tarps to keep the wind from blowing in and Jeff and I set up our tent outside. We have now learned that our tent was much warmer than the cabin. Tonight we will set up tents for the kids too and just use the cabin as our livingroom.
We came home this morning to get warmed up (and get proper clothing!). I made a nice big breakfast and we are about to head back. I am making chili today for tonight's dinner. I love to cook while we are camping, course, I love to cook anytime:). It's going to be colder tonight, but we've camped in worse. Another adventure awaits!
We knew it was going to be cold, at least I will say, Jeff and I knew it was going to be cold. I told the kids to pack themselves and warned them over and over that it was going to get very cold in the night. I guess when it is close to 85 outside, it's hard for a kid to believe that it is really going to get THAT cold. My son went to bed in his usual just underwear even though I warned him.
We have been getting these really cool campsites that have a small rudimentary cabin on them (pictures later). It is basically the shelter that you usually find at the campsite, but it has been enclosed. Inside are two bunkbeds. We put up a few tarps to keep the wind from blowing in and Jeff and I set up our tent outside. We have now learned that our tent was much warmer than the cabin. Tonight we will set up tents for the kids too and just use the cabin as our livingroom.
We came home this morning to get warmed up (and get proper clothing!). I made a nice big breakfast and we are about to head back. I am making chili today for tonight's dinner. I love to cook while we are camping, course, I love to cook anytime:). It's going to be colder tonight, but we've camped in worse. Another adventure awaits!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Today's the Day
Alright, today's the day, I'm finally going to start writing my blog...wooohooo! LOL.
My name is Erin, I am a wife and mother, step mother, daughter, sister and friend. I love theater and music and cooking. My husband is an amazing cook and has taught me alot. I'm sure there's lot's more to me, but I guess that will come out along the way.
Right now I am struggling as I deal with my teenage daughter. What's new huh? Age old question of how to deal with teens! My daughter, Audrey, is an awesome kid. We have always been increadibly close. She tells me everything (except about her schoolwork, which we will get to later). The first time she was kissed I knew the moment I saw her, and she knew I would know because that's just how we are. She is beautiful and thoughtful and I love every stinkin bit of her. Her teachers do too! I had a conference with them today and they agree that she is struggling and could easily be doing better. They want to nominate her for a leadership club at school so that she will have something special to be involved in. What a blessing that she has such great teachers!
So, what's going so wrong? School. It seems to always be a struggle for her. But it isn't because she has learning disabilities or other learning issues. I guess that's what is so frustrating. It's like she just stops trying. She has a ton of 0's right now. She isn't doing her homework. I feel like a failure because it seems I should have been checking on her more. I know, I know, it isn't REALLY my fault, but I feel somehow responsible for not prodding her more about what was going on. Ah, but prodding gets a very sassy, unreasonable Audrey. I ask her a question about school and she is railing at me, talking to me in a way she has never done. I know it is because she knows she has messed up and doesn't want to disappoint me, but she doesn't realize that. I have to say, it hurts.
I was near tears all day yesterday over it. What happened to our relationship? Will we go the way of so many Mom's and teen daughters and be at eachother's throats for the next four years? I hadn't even considered that we would struggle this way because I thought we were different. The shock of finding that we aren't is painful. It all happend so suddenly!
Thankfully I did some research yesterday and I found a site that had these really neat contracts for rules. It said that if you let your teen have a part in developing the rules they are more likely to respect and follow them. So, I sent her up to her room with the sheet and boy did she ever take it seriously. We were able to sit on the couch and talk through what we both thought was fair, then we both signed the contract. I am hoping is helps and I will let you know! By the end of the night, I had my sweet Audrey back. I know the "teen Audrey" will probably come and go, but as long as sometimes I get to see my sweet girl I will be able to make it through!
My name is Erin, I am a wife and mother, step mother, daughter, sister and friend. I love theater and music and cooking. My husband is an amazing cook and has taught me alot. I'm sure there's lot's more to me, but I guess that will come out along the way.
Right now I am struggling as I deal with my teenage daughter. What's new huh? Age old question of how to deal with teens! My daughter, Audrey, is an awesome kid. We have always been increadibly close. She tells me everything (except about her schoolwork, which we will get to later). The first time she was kissed I knew the moment I saw her, and she knew I would know because that's just how we are. She is beautiful and thoughtful and I love every stinkin bit of her. Her teachers do too! I had a conference with them today and they agree that she is struggling and could easily be doing better. They want to nominate her for a leadership club at school so that she will have something special to be involved in. What a blessing that she has such great teachers!
So, what's going so wrong? School. It seems to always be a struggle for her. But it isn't because she has learning disabilities or other learning issues. I guess that's what is so frustrating. It's like she just stops trying. She has a ton of 0's right now. She isn't doing her homework. I feel like a failure because it seems I should have been checking on her more. I know, I know, it isn't REALLY my fault, but I feel somehow responsible for not prodding her more about what was going on. Ah, but prodding gets a very sassy, unreasonable Audrey. I ask her a question about school and she is railing at me, talking to me in a way she has never done. I know it is because she knows she has messed up and doesn't want to disappoint me, but she doesn't realize that. I have to say, it hurts.
I was near tears all day yesterday over it. What happened to our relationship? Will we go the way of so many Mom's and teen daughters and be at eachother's throats for the next four years? I hadn't even considered that we would struggle this way because I thought we were different. The shock of finding that we aren't is painful. It all happend so suddenly!
Thankfully I did some research yesterday and I found a site that had these really neat contracts for rules. It said that if you let your teen have a part in developing the rules they are more likely to respect and follow them. So, I sent her up to her room with the sheet and boy did she ever take it seriously. We were able to sit on the couch and talk through what we both thought was fair, then we both signed the contract. I am hoping is helps and I will let you know! By the end of the night, I had my sweet Audrey back. I know the "teen Audrey" will probably come and go, but as long as sometimes I get to see my sweet girl I will be able to make it through!
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