Still here

I'm a pretty lucky girl. I have an amazing husband who has done everything possible to support me through this time, even though I know it's got to be stressful for him too. Amazing kids, friends and family who have circled the wagons around me to support me. I need to remember all that through this.



Ohhh, but I am so tired, and when you get tired, you get emotional. I woke up at 2am this morning and despite my best efforts, I just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, I will sleep tonight, I'm not sure my body has a choice.



The thing I have to console myself with is that I have been through much worse things. When I went through my divorce and the years prior to that, I went through a hell that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. At that time I begged and pleaded with God to help me and I felt really abandoned. I look back at those times and I see the changes in my life for the better since then. There are some things that have continued to be hard, but for the most part I have become a much better, much wiser person for all the pain. And to top it off, I met the most amazing man. My husband Jeff is my rock. He treats me with love and respect at all times. I had no idea love could be like this.



Like I said, despite the pain, fear and loose ends, I am a very lucky girl.