Just went and picked up my last paycheck and a few things I had at the store. I took the attitude this morning that I don't often have days off with my kids and a clean house, so I was doing a pretty decent job at enjoying it. I knew paychecks would come today and since I really NEED the thing, I went ahead and drove up there. Emotion began to hit on my way there and now, my shoulders are back to being tight and painful. I guess I was forced to again face the fact that my future is unclear. People keep giving me the cliche's, you know, "When a door closes a window opens" and the like. I know these to be true and I know that someday I will see all the good from this trying time. Right now I'm just mad, scared and upset. This store was really a part of my identity.
Four years ago, after being a stay at home Mom for nine years, I had to go back to work. I was going through a divorce and had to find my own way for the first time in 15 years. I got a job at another Super Suppers and quickly worked my way up to managing the store. I was proud of what I had accomplished. Then I got laid off. That was devastating for me. So, this isn't the first time this company has laid me off, same story, different store. Nearly a year ago, this store asked me to general manage. It took me three days to say yes, because I knew it would be a BIG job. But I did it, and despite many shortcomings along the way, I thought things were really coming together. I really felt I had made great strides. And now, it's gone. I'm not sure I can convey how this affects me. It's not just that I've lost my income. I've lost a big part of what I felt very personally attached to. I feel very lost. And yes, I know better things will come, but damnit, right now just let me be mad and hurt, it's okay!
I will say that despite everything, yesterday was one of the best Thanksgiving's on record. Maybe the very best. Jeff and I cooked side by side for hours, and I really think we worked like a well oiled machine. Everything was ready on time, we never felt stressed. I even ran into a neighbor at the store early in the day who was trying to throw together a last minute meal and invited them too. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, sharing and being thankful. I am thankful that I have wonderful family and friends. I was able to put all the stress and pain aside for a day at least.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Still here
I'm a pretty lucky girl. I have an amazing husband who has done everything possible to support me through this time, even though I know it's got to be stressful for him too. Amazing kids, friends and family who have circled the wagons around me to support me. I need to remember all that through this.
Ohhh, but I am so tired, and when you get tired, you get emotional. I woke up at 2am this morning and despite my best efforts, I just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, I will sleep tonight, I'm not sure my body has a choice.
The thing I have to console myself with is that I have been through much worse things. When I went through my divorce and the years prior to that, I went through a hell that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. At that time I begged and pleaded with God to help me and I felt really abandoned. I look back at those times and I see the changes in my life for the better since then. There are some things that have continued to be hard, but for the most part I have become a much better, much wiser person for all the pain. And to top it off, I met the most amazing man. My husband Jeff is my rock. He treats me with love and respect at all times. I had no idea love could be like this.
Like I said, despite the pain, fear and loose ends, I am a very lucky girl.
Ohhh, but I am so tired, and when you get tired, you get emotional. I woke up at 2am this morning and despite my best efforts, I just couldn't get back to sleep. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, I will sleep tonight, I'm not sure my body has a choice.
The thing I have to console myself with is that I have been through much worse things. When I went through my divorce and the years prior to that, I went through a hell that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. At that time I begged and pleaded with God to help me and I felt really abandoned. I look back at those times and I see the changes in my life for the better since then. There are some things that have continued to be hard, but for the most part I have become a much better, much wiser person for all the pain. And to top it off, I met the most amazing man. My husband Jeff is my rock. He treats me with love and respect at all times. I had no idea love could be like this.
Like I said, despite the pain, fear and loose ends, I am a very lucky girl.
Monday, November 24, 2008
News
First off, I would like to say how proud I am of my son who's team played awesome in their tournament this weekend. The got farther than they have ever gotten before and only lost in a tie breaker. Awesome!
That was the good news portion of this blog. Now on to the bad. We sent off our letter to Jennifer and Scott. They asked for a meeting. We met today at 1pm and they let me go. They said theat they had needed us to move faster on the sale and they just couln't afford to keep me. I am now sans job.
I have cried all day, I can't seem to get my self to move past that. I was proud of what I had accomplished at this job. I am smart enough to know that evrything happens for a reason and something better will eventually come along, but right now I am devastated and scared. My former bosses handled this whole thing very (for lack of a better word) shitty. They have even offered to pay me until the end of the month if I will be available to answer questions for the next week. I am not feeling terribly charitable. I know I should take the offer because we need the money, but damnit, screw them. I have worked my butt off for this store and I was proud of that. Now I worry we will lose the house if I don't find work soon. Not to mention Christmas for our kids.
I let all my employees know and they are shocked and upset as well. I don't know what else to say.....
That was the good news portion of this blog. Now on to the bad. We sent off our letter to Jennifer and Scott. They asked for a meeting. We met today at 1pm and they let me go. They said theat they had needed us to move faster on the sale and they just couln't afford to keep me. I am now sans job.
I have cried all day, I can't seem to get my self to move past that. I was proud of what I had accomplished at this job. I am smart enough to know that evrything happens for a reason and something better will eventually come along, but right now I am devastated and scared. My former bosses handled this whole thing very (for lack of a better word) shitty. They have even offered to pay me until the end of the month if I will be available to answer questions for the next week. I am not feeling terribly charitable. I know I should take the offer because we need the money, but damnit, screw them. I have worked my butt off for this store and I was proud of that. Now I worry we will lose the house if I don't find work soon. Not to mention Christmas for our kids.
I let all my employees know and they are shocked and upset as well. I don't know what else to say.....
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Drama, baseball & football
Man, what a day!
It's just Murphy's Law for me that any day that there are no children in the house and I could peacefully sleep in, I wake up at 8am. Now tomorrow, when I need to be AT a baseball game at 8am, I will feel like I could sleep all morning. Story of my life, and honestly, if that's all I have to complain about, I'm a lucky girl.
Today we sent out response email to the owners of the store. Basically we let them know that we would not be rushed and that we were willing to walk away. They want a face to face meeting to discuss things. Soooo, the saga continues. They play a good game, we still have no idea what their bottom line is. Jeff still feels we have the upper hand, and in many ways I do too. BUT, when your future is at stake, it's hard not to worry.
In the midst of this, Michael had his final baseball tournament of the season. My son Michael is a really amazing baseball player. I knew nothing about baseball until we got him into it and discovered he was good. Now I spend three nights a week at practice (except for the next six weeks, yay!). His team has been less than good, but to be fair, they are a very new team compared to some. Today though, they played awesome. They creamed the team in the first game and only lost by one in the second. It was fun to see the improvement they have made over the past month and I'm sure tomorrow will be fun too.
And oh, what a great cap to the evening, my Sooners beat the pants off of Texas Tech! I have always loved football, but I have an affinity for college ball. I think those college boys just play with more heart. No million dollar drug addicts here, just boys who rely on teamwork and working hard to reach their goal. Love it!
So, tomorrow brings more baseball and a meeting with the owners fo my store. Lot's of uncertainty. I'll try not to stress about it all (or I'll just drink alot of wine...it's 5 O'clock somehere right?). More details as they become available.....
It's just Murphy's Law for me that any day that there are no children in the house and I could peacefully sleep in, I wake up at 8am. Now tomorrow, when I need to be AT a baseball game at 8am, I will feel like I could sleep all morning. Story of my life, and honestly, if that's all I have to complain about, I'm a lucky girl.
Today we sent out response email to the owners of the store. Basically we let them know that we would not be rushed and that we were willing to walk away. They want a face to face meeting to discuss things. Soooo, the saga continues. They play a good game, we still have no idea what their bottom line is. Jeff still feels we have the upper hand, and in many ways I do too. BUT, when your future is at stake, it's hard not to worry.
In the midst of this, Michael had his final baseball tournament of the season. My son Michael is a really amazing baseball player. I knew nothing about baseball until we got him into it and discovered he was good. Now I spend three nights a week at practice (except for the next six weeks, yay!). His team has been less than good, but to be fair, they are a very new team compared to some. Today though, they played awesome. They creamed the team in the first game and only lost by one in the second. It was fun to see the improvement they have made over the past month and I'm sure tomorrow will be fun too.
And oh, what a great cap to the evening, my Sooners beat the pants off of Texas Tech! I have always loved football, but I have an affinity for college ball. I think those college boys just play with more heart. No million dollar drug addicts here, just boys who rely on teamwork and working hard to reach their goal. Love it!
So, tomorrow brings more baseball and a meeting with the owners fo my store. Lot's of uncertainty. I'll try not to stress about it all (or I'll just drink alot of wine...it's 5 O'clock somehere right?). More details as they become available.....
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Calmer Now
Monday was a rough day. I needed that day to process and talk through all the emotion I was feeling. The owners of the store had responded to our question of waiting until January 1st to change ownership by saying that if we didn't take ownership Dec. 1st, they would cut my salary in half. I was pretty darn upset by that. First of all, it was just wrong. And second of all...well, it was just wrong! Jeff is pretty sure it's illegal as well, but that is a quesiton for the attorney today.
Well, after processing all of that, and what the CPA said, we have come out with a much clearer picture on the whole situation. We are meeting with a corporate attorney today and will get some more clarity I'm sure. What it comes down to now is the owners willingness to cut their price. The business is not worth what they are asking us to pay. Not near what they are asking. I think they have rushed things along in order for us not to realize this, but too late. They certainly didn't want us to see a lawyer.
Anyway, I have come to terms with the fact that this may not work out. If it doesn't work out, and we did everything we could, then it just wasn't meant to be. I can live with that. I don't know what's next on the horizon for me, but time will tell.
More news later:)
Well, after processing all of that, and what the CPA said, we have come out with a much clearer picture on the whole situation. We are meeting with a corporate attorney today and will get some more clarity I'm sure. What it comes down to now is the owners willingness to cut their price. The business is not worth what they are asking us to pay. Not near what they are asking. I think they have rushed things along in order for us not to realize this, but too late. They certainly didn't want us to see a lawyer.
Anyway, I have come to terms with the fact that this may not work out. If it doesn't work out, and we did everything we could, then it just wasn't meant to be. I can live with that. I don't know what's next on the horizon for me, but time will tell.
More news later:)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Camping and BIG Decisions
I took lot's of camping pics, but need a new cord to connect my camera to my computer. Once that is done, I will post! Amazingly, even though it was colder on Saturday night, we all did fine. I think it was the fact that the wind had died down. We had a nice game of Monopoly going and really enjoyed ourselves.
So. Big decisions. Two weeks ago today I got to work and found an email from my boss aksing to meet with me at 3:15 that afternoon. I hate those email's. I worry myself to death over being called in by my bosses. Usually it's needless worry. This meeting was no exception. They were not meeting with me to fire me or tell me I am doing a horrible job, they were meeting with me to tell me that they want to sell me the store. They have had it up for sale for quite a while now, but with the economy the way it is, they have not had takers. The both work other jobs and are just ready to be rid of the burden the store presents in their lives both time wise and financially.
At first Jeff and I were just pretty much in shock mode. I was really in emotional mode. If we buy the store, it's a big risk (even though they have given us very nice terms). If we don't buy the store, I will lose my job, and soon. They will either sell to someone else who won't need a GM or they will close the store. Losing my job would be devastating for us. I've been through it before and even though everything worked out in the end, I REALLY despise the unknown. I feel like I am flailing in the wind at the moment.
I know we can do this, I've run the store for nearly a year now and Jeff has managed restaurants for 20 years. It is something we've both wanted, to own our own business. In many ways, this is a dream come true. Unfortunately, it's just not an easy decision. There are so many things that are involved in buying a business. Creating a corporation, deciding which kind of corporation you want to be, and many many more small details. Things I knew nothing about until the past two weeks. It's overwhelming.
In some ways I feel as though I have been training for this for a few years now, and I guess that is why the option of saying no is so upsetting. I WANT to do this, but wanting to do something and it being the right thing to do are two very different things. I was calm for a while, when I really felt we were going to buy the store (and basically I was avoiding thinking about the other possibilites). Today things have changed and the owners have pretty much given us a two week deadline. We either go for it, or I get a major pay cut December 1st (oh, and right before Christmas, yay!) and have to face looking for another job.
I think I need a big cry to clear my head. I'm trying not to do that sitting here at work since my employees know nothing about anything that's going on! Anyway, big decisions afoot.
So. Big decisions. Two weeks ago today I got to work and found an email from my boss aksing to meet with me at 3:15 that afternoon. I hate those email's. I worry myself to death over being called in by my bosses. Usually it's needless worry. This meeting was no exception. They were not meeting with me to fire me or tell me I am doing a horrible job, they were meeting with me to tell me that they want to sell me the store. They have had it up for sale for quite a while now, but with the economy the way it is, they have not had takers. The both work other jobs and are just ready to be rid of the burden the store presents in their lives both time wise and financially.
At first Jeff and I were just pretty much in shock mode. I was really in emotional mode. If we buy the store, it's a big risk (even though they have given us very nice terms). If we don't buy the store, I will lose my job, and soon. They will either sell to someone else who won't need a GM or they will close the store. Losing my job would be devastating for us. I've been through it before and even though everything worked out in the end, I REALLY despise the unknown. I feel like I am flailing in the wind at the moment.
I know we can do this, I've run the store for nearly a year now and Jeff has managed restaurants for 20 years. It is something we've both wanted, to own our own business. In many ways, this is a dream come true. Unfortunately, it's just not an easy decision. There are so many things that are involved in buying a business. Creating a corporation, deciding which kind of corporation you want to be, and many many more small details. Things I knew nothing about until the past two weeks. It's overwhelming.
In some ways I feel as though I have been training for this for a few years now, and I guess that is why the option of saying no is so upsetting. I WANT to do this, but wanting to do something and it being the right thing to do are two very different things. I was calm for a while, when I really felt we were going to buy the store (and basically I was avoiding thinking about the other possibilites). Today things have changed and the owners have pretty much given us a two week deadline. We either go for it, or I get a major pay cut December 1st (oh, and right before Christmas, yay!) and have to face looking for another job.
I think I need a big cry to clear my head. I'm trying not to do that sitting here at work since my employees know nothing about anything that's going on! Anyway, big decisions afoot.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
YES, we camped last night!
OK, so maybe we are crazy, but yes, we did camp last night. We love to camp. Of course, we love it better when there is beautiful weather. But no matter the weather, the kids have so much fun exploring and imagining out there in the woods. Lord knows they spend way too much time in front of the t.v. and games these days. I remember spending hours upon hours back in the woods behind my house growing up, letting my imagination run wild (and believe me, I've got quite an imagination!). So it's always so nice to watch them use what they see and find to create secret hideouts and such.
We knew it was going to be cold, at least I will say, Jeff and I knew it was going to be cold. I told the kids to pack themselves and warned them over and over that it was going to get very cold in the night. I guess when it is close to 85 outside, it's hard for a kid to believe that it is really going to get THAT cold. My son went to bed in his usual just underwear even though I warned him.
We have been getting these really cool campsites that have a small rudimentary cabin on them (pictures later). It is basically the shelter that you usually find at the campsite, but it has been enclosed. Inside are two bunkbeds. We put up a few tarps to keep the wind from blowing in and Jeff and I set up our tent outside. We have now learned that our tent was much warmer than the cabin. Tonight we will set up tents for the kids too and just use the cabin as our livingroom.
We came home this morning to get warmed up (and get proper clothing!). I made a nice big breakfast and we are about to head back. I am making chili today for tonight's dinner. I love to cook while we are camping, course, I love to cook anytime:). It's going to be colder tonight, but we've camped in worse. Another adventure awaits!
We knew it was going to be cold, at least I will say, Jeff and I knew it was going to be cold. I told the kids to pack themselves and warned them over and over that it was going to get very cold in the night. I guess when it is close to 85 outside, it's hard for a kid to believe that it is really going to get THAT cold. My son went to bed in his usual just underwear even though I warned him.
We have been getting these really cool campsites that have a small rudimentary cabin on them (pictures later). It is basically the shelter that you usually find at the campsite, but it has been enclosed. Inside are two bunkbeds. We put up a few tarps to keep the wind from blowing in and Jeff and I set up our tent outside. We have now learned that our tent was much warmer than the cabin. Tonight we will set up tents for the kids too and just use the cabin as our livingroom.
We came home this morning to get warmed up (and get proper clothing!). I made a nice big breakfast and we are about to head back. I am making chili today for tonight's dinner. I love to cook while we are camping, course, I love to cook anytime:). It's going to be colder tonight, but we've camped in worse. Another adventure awaits!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Today's the Day
Alright, today's the day, I'm finally going to start writing my blog...wooohooo! LOL.
My name is Erin, I am a wife and mother, step mother, daughter, sister and friend. I love theater and music and cooking. My husband is an amazing cook and has taught me alot. I'm sure there's lot's more to me, but I guess that will come out along the way.
Right now I am struggling as I deal with my teenage daughter. What's new huh? Age old question of how to deal with teens! My daughter, Audrey, is an awesome kid. We have always been increadibly close. She tells me everything (except about her schoolwork, which we will get to later). The first time she was kissed I knew the moment I saw her, and she knew I would know because that's just how we are. She is beautiful and thoughtful and I love every stinkin bit of her. Her teachers do too! I had a conference with them today and they agree that she is struggling and could easily be doing better. They want to nominate her for a leadership club at school so that she will have something special to be involved in. What a blessing that she has such great teachers!
So, what's going so wrong? School. It seems to always be a struggle for her. But it isn't because she has learning disabilities or other learning issues. I guess that's what is so frustrating. It's like she just stops trying. She has a ton of 0's right now. She isn't doing her homework. I feel like a failure because it seems I should have been checking on her more. I know, I know, it isn't REALLY my fault, but I feel somehow responsible for not prodding her more about what was going on. Ah, but prodding gets a very sassy, unreasonable Audrey. I ask her a question about school and she is railing at me, talking to me in a way she has never done. I know it is because she knows she has messed up and doesn't want to disappoint me, but she doesn't realize that. I have to say, it hurts.
I was near tears all day yesterday over it. What happened to our relationship? Will we go the way of so many Mom's and teen daughters and be at eachother's throats for the next four years? I hadn't even considered that we would struggle this way because I thought we were different. The shock of finding that we aren't is painful. It all happend so suddenly!
Thankfully I did some research yesterday and I found a site that had these really neat contracts for rules. It said that if you let your teen have a part in developing the rules they are more likely to respect and follow them. So, I sent her up to her room with the sheet and boy did she ever take it seriously. We were able to sit on the couch and talk through what we both thought was fair, then we both signed the contract. I am hoping is helps and I will let you know! By the end of the night, I had my sweet Audrey back. I know the "teen Audrey" will probably come and go, but as long as sometimes I get to see my sweet girl I will be able to make it through!
My name is Erin, I am a wife and mother, step mother, daughter, sister and friend. I love theater and music and cooking. My husband is an amazing cook and has taught me alot. I'm sure there's lot's more to me, but I guess that will come out along the way.
Right now I am struggling as I deal with my teenage daughter. What's new huh? Age old question of how to deal with teens! My daughter, Audrey, is an awesome kid. We have always been increadibly close. She tells me everything (except about her schoolwork, which we will get to later). The first time she was kissed I knew the moment I saw her, and she knew I would know because that's just how we are. She is beautiful and thoughtful and I love every stinkin bit of her. Her teachers do too! I had a conference with them today and they agree that she is struggling and could easily be doing better. They want to nominate her for a leadership club at school so that she will have something special to be involved in. What a blessing that she has such great teachers!
So, what's going so wrong? School. It seems to always be a struggle for her. But it isn't because she has learning disabilities or other learning issues. I guess that's what is so frustrating. It's like she just stops trying. She has a ton of 0's right now. She isn't doing her homework. I feel like a failure because it seems I should have been checking on her more. I know, I know, it isn't REALLY my fault, but I feel somehow responsible for not prodding her more about what was going on. Ah, but prodding gets a very sassy, unreasonable Audrey. I ask her a question about school and she is railing at me, talking to me in a way she has never done. I know it is because she knows she has messed up and doesn't want to disappoint me, but she doesn't realize that. I have to say, it hurts.
I was near tears all day yesterday over it. What happened to our relationship? Will we go the way of so many Mom's and teen daughters and be at eachother's throats for the next four years? I hadn't even considered that we would struggle this way because I thought we were different. The shock of finding that we aren't is painful. It all happend so suddenly!
Thankfully I did some research yesterday and I found a site that had these really neat contracts for rules. It said that if you let your teen have a part in developing the rules they are more likely to respect and follow them. So, I sent her up to her room with the sheet and boy did she ever take it seriously. We were able to sit on the couch and talk through what we both thought was fair, then we both signed the contract. I am hoping is helps and I will let you know! By the end of the night, I had my sweet Audrey back. I know the "teen Audrey" will probably come and go, but as long as sometimes I get to see my sweet girl I will be able to make it through!
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