Torn

I have started this entry so many times. I worry that I am being too negative. That people, well if anyone reads this, that they will just get irritated with me. Then I realize that this isn't for anyone else. This is for me. The whole reason I decided to write was because this is the best way for me to work through my feelings.

Right now I am angry...yes STILL. I feel so much like I am flailing in the wind. I have alot of different experience, but I really didn't think I would be starting all over again. I thought when I started the GM job at Super Suppers, this was my future. I saw myself doing that job or owning the store on a very permanent basis. I keep waiting for some sort of inspiration, something to happen that moves me toward what comes next. Instead, I am home, remembering what it's like to be a stay at home Mom, and remembering that I cannot possibly afford to be that.

I will digress for a moment. The weekend was absolutely wonderful. We have made friends with our neighbors and feel really blessed to have such wonderful friends. The holiday and the friends made me forget for a while. On Sunday, we went to a Christmas Tree Farm in Elgin and picked out our Christmas Tree. We had decided last year this was what we were going to do and since we had already told the kids, we went ahead. It was such a wonderful day! Here are some pics:). The tree was so big that we had part of it hanging out the passenger side front window and part hanging out the drivers side back window...got quite a few laughs on the way home:).

I had an idea that I could just send out an email to everyone I know and offer the same sort of services that Super Suppers does. I have the kow how and I know there are people out there who need help with their dinners. If people wanted to buy a dinner or two from me a week, then maybe that could help make December better, or more survivable for me and Jeff. I'm still working it through, but at least it's something. Until I find whatever it is that is next for me.