A Year!!!

I did not realize it had been a whole year since I have blogged! Oh my. Reading back I see how therapeutic blogging has been for me and think maybe I should give this another shot.

So much has changed in a year and I got kind of sad looking at the home improvement project pictures I took. It really is hard to take pride in my rent house sometimes. I really should count my lucky stars we aren't living out of our car.

Anyway, I will try to start blogging again, not that anyone out there reads it, which is fine by me. All I'm doing is getting things off my chest:).

Audrey Part 2

I tell ya, kids can just be brutal. What is making it more difficult is that Audrey is in a new school with a bunch of kids I don't know. I have no idea if they have a history of lying or any feeling for what kind of person they are. This girl who sent the picture message keeps saying she did not send the message, but it was her phone. No denying that. She says she let someone use her phone and that person sent the message. How do you get to the bottom of something like that! Ugh.

Anyway, the meeting went well. The teacher was so upset about what she did that she was in tears. I really feel that what she did was no malicious and that she had no idea the snowball she was rolling down the hill. Hopefully this will have taught her a lesson. The counselor was there and also very supportive. He takes the issue very seriously and told Audrey to come straight to him any time anyone gives her any trouble about this issue.

I am embarrassed to say that I used to be one of those people who thought it was a mind over matter issue. Until my three year old started experiencing it. I feel like so many people are completely unaware of the seriousness. Of course she is my daughter and I am so frustrated when I can't fix everything...welcome to motherhood.

Anyway, I feel like school wise the issue is being handled very well. Handling the girl outside of school is another issue. I guess I am being a softie, it seems like overkill to me to file a police report....but on the other hand, I really feel that kids are using phones and computers to harass eachother far too much. And they do not realize the brevity of what they are doing. What do you all think?

Audrey

Here is an email I sent to a dear friend of mine this morning explaining the issues going on with Audrey at the moment. It said everything I would have said here....

So, here's the deal with what's going on. As I believe you already know, Audrey has serious issues with blood. She passed out from the sight of blood for the first time at the age of three. A three year old has no pre-conceived notion about blood. By the time she was 6 her pediatrician sent her to a pediatric neurologist because she had such severe reactions. When she has an incident, she doesn't just pass out, she also has a seizure with eyes rolling back and wetting her pants. The whole bit. It is not pleasant and it is frightening for her, not to mention that we are fortunate she has not injured herself seriously while falling. NOW, imagine being a teenager and worrying that this will happen in front of your friends or at school or both!

We have had issues in the past with classmates knowing about her condition and trying to show her pictures or do things to cause her to pass out. We have also had issues with people not believing her. Thinking it is just in her head or that she is simply trying to get attention. Mind you, she has never passed out at school (thank goodness!). Last week her science teacher decided to share this information with at least three of her classes. She apparently said to each class, "Did you know that we have a Hemophonbe in our school? Do you know what that is?", and then proceeded to tell them it was Audrey.

That in itself I think is actually illegal. The teacher has no right to share Audrey's private medical issues with anyone, let alone at least three classes! Then the teacher has the audacity the very next day to show a video with blood in it (About Sickle Sell Anemia) and not believe Audrey when she started to feel ill.

Oh, and it gets better! Last night, one of Audrey's classmates sent her a very gory picture of a surgery on her phone. This is what happens when people have this information. They use it to try to hurt her or bully her. Pisses a Mama off to say the least!

I have gotten a note from Audrey's Pediatrician to give the school and have a conference scheduled with her science teacher and the counselor at 9:30am today. Oh, AND since I scheduled the conference, the teacher has asked Audrey twice what it was about! Completely out of line. Anyway, that's the scoop.

I will let you know how things go this morning.

Rain, Rain....and Rain

I am at home for a few minutes since I brought Audrey back from the campsite to get all cleaned up for her birthday party tonight. During which I am sure, she will get all icky and muddy again since it's a teeny bit wet out there. Ah but still fun. Jeff talked me into camping last night and I swear that the minute we pulled into the park it began pouring rain. Thankfully it didn't last and we actually had a very peaceful night with a small bit of rain. Of course, this morning was a completely different story as it rained HARD. But it wasn't windy and we had a shelter, so no big deal. No more rain in the forecast either.

I started my census job this week. Well, I trained last week (BORING), but actually started doing the job this week. Unfortunately I found out that they may not have any more work for me after this week. That really sucks. It's a great paying and easy job with flexible hours, so I hope they find us some new areas. We sure could use the money.

So, I got some bad news last week about my Mom. She has been having alot of health issues and in the process of doing tests for other things, the Dr.'s have found a spot on her thyroid and a tumor in her lung. She will have an ultrasound of her thyroid and a CT scan of her lung next week to gather more information. Plus, she will get the results of the blood work they did last week. I was pretty upset when I first heard those new issues. But at this point, what's the point of worrying? There isn't anything I can do about it, so I guess it's just wait and see. I am just trying hard not to think about it much, but that isn't working so well. Sigh...

As far as our fight goes, well, it went the way of so many....suddenly she started talking to me again and we never talked about the issue at all. I would like to talk about it, but at this point, with all she has on her plate, I will let it go. Too much stress already.

Lastly, here are pics of the latest home improvement project. My favorite so far. The Dining Room! I am going to see if I can find some of the "before" pics so you can see the difference. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I could find, but it will have to do. Just a boring plain room. In this picture we had just ripped up the carpet.

In total we spent about $50 on this room, but I think it looks like we spent ALOT more! The first thing I did was get some Rustoleum metal paint and painted the light fixture. It was an ugly brass fixture, but with a new coat of paint and some lampshades I bought at IKEA, it's a new fixture! Next, we ripped out the carpet which cost us nothing but some elbow grease and time. We bought the red paint for $5 at the Habitat For Humanity Restore. Then we bought some trim and stain at Home Depot for the back wall and also concrete stain. Violla! We have a brand new, rockin dining room!

Shiner, Big Hair & Kitty's

I've been bad about catching up on all the latest news and events going on in the Geren/Folsom household. Soooo...here goes! Last week I met my sister at the Waco Zoo. It was a beautiful day and the zoo was sooo terribly uncrowded! Yay! We had a really great time. What a nice zoo. My favorite animal to see at the zoo is always the giraffe, but I also found a new favorite. The black swan. I had no idea how beautiful they were! See the beautiful ruffles his feathers make at his tail? Stunning.

Then Friday Michael's whole Third Grade went to the Austin Zoo. Not nearly as nice as the Waco Zoo, but really fun anyway. Michael was thrilled to have me there with him (Unfortunately I forgot the camera for this one!). It was some really nice Mom and son bonding time. AND while I was at the zoo, I got a call from the Census Bureau, I got a job! It is a temporary job, but a really good and well paying gig. I'll take what I can get, that's for darn sure!

Saturday we left very early for Michael's baseball tournament in Shiner, TX. I was so happy to see that Michael played First Base for the entire first game. That hadn't happened in quite a while. he did a great job and hit well too. After the second game, the team headed out to a Mexican restaurant. On the way there Michael was sticking his head out the window enjoying the beautiful weather. He is growing his hair out and when I looked in the backseat I could hardly keep it together. Hopefully it will make you laugh too!

It was a fun night although LOUD with alot of hyper boys. The adults finally began to have fun and relax when the beer and Pina Colada's started coming:).

The town of Shiner is rather small and old, and driving home we saw a neat little park with a huge cannon Michael wanted to see, so we stopped. While we were there we found this really cool time capsule and Michael and I made a date for it's opening in 2037.

Last but not least, a little kitty humor.

THIS is MY box.

I AM NOT fat! I DO fit in here too!

FINE! Everyone knows my Target bag is more stylish than your pudding box anyway!

Crisis.....of the heart

Depression.....they say it hurts and they aren't wrong. I've been on both sides. When you are depressed, the depression lies to you. It tells you that you are worthless, that you have no friends, that life is bad. I've been there. I've also been on the other side of it. The side that GETS hurt. I have learned over time that I have to protect myself sometimes, even when it is someone you love most that is hurting you.

My Mom suffers from serious depression and has for years. Sometimes it's alright and sometimes it isn't. Even one harsh tone from her can send me reeling. We are all tangled up together in a mesh of being really close in a good way and being dysfunctional in others. My mother is suffering right now with some serious medical issues. It has caused her to be in a real depression. Unfortunately, it has also caused her to lash out at me. As of this moment she isn't even speaking to me.

Why? Well, apparently because I am being a bad parent to my daughter. Audrey expressed to her the desire to try out for cheerleading. I was upset at first because it was so last minute and Audrey just hadn't been preparing, but at my Mother's insistence, I gave in. I got her a coach and asked her to practice. I told her she would have to work very hard because there was alot of competition.

Audrey has struggled because she wants to have her "thing". You know that thing that you are good at. Her brother plays baseball and she is honest and tells me she is jealous because he has that and she feels she doesn't have something. We had a heart to heart and I explained to her that not everyone's "thing" has to be something sports related. Audrey loves to write and has signed up for Journalism class next year. She will do great and love it. She just has to be patient. She has yet to practice to cheerleading. I figure if it is something she really wanted, she would be working on it, right? Ah, but somehow that is my fault in my Mother's eyes. She thinks that I have put Audrey down and that now she thinks she can't do it. She thinks that because her Mother told her the same things.

I finally wrote her an email today and told her the ball is in her court. I told her that I love her and want to have a relationship with her and that I don't understand why she wants to stay mad at me. It isn't fair to withhold love from someone as a punishment. It isn't right and I don't deserve it. No one does. I know exactly the impact this will have on her. I spent too many years not standing up for myself for fear of sending her farther down into the depression. Now I know that part isn't my fault. I have to stand up for myself, as painful as it is. I can only hope and pray that she will decide to let me back in and not do something that will break all of our hearts.

Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. I am very scared for her right now, and I am shut out. Even though I know the truth about depression, I would never be able to forgive myself if something happens to her before we can get things worked out. I love her, she's my Mom. The only one I'll ever have.

Left Handed Darts

So, we had this big storm on last week. Perfect time to do a massive and FAST cleaning of our garage. And maybe not so much cleaning as pushing everything to the back, but whatever, it looks much better! That being said, Jeff realized that we now have room to put up our dart board, so he got that all set up last night. Even painted us a handy little line so we know where to stand. Last night was the first night in weeks that we were sans children, so we went out into the garage and played a couple of games of 501. After we played the first game, Jeff decided maybe it would be easier for him to play left handed since his injury was making playing right handed difficult. I then decided it was only fair if I played left handed too. LOL! We actually did pretty darn well! It was a fun evening. Thanks for setting up the dart board babe:).

In about thirty minutes I am off to a day of baseball and softball and maybe Natalee's soccer game if I can make it. Another cold and very windy day, ick! I am so not looking forward to this. Don't get me wrong, I love watching them play, but I'm not so fond of the cold and especially the cold and wind. I'd better go load up the keeping warm supplies.

Have a great weekend!